Call Me Back
by OccasionallyRestless
Summary: Set during New Moon. When Edward calls the house what if Bella had picked up instead of Jacob, proving that she's alive? Can such a small difference make a big change to the narrative? My take on how things could happen. E/B. PERMANENTLY DISCONTINUED. See my profile for details.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **all recognisable characters are the property of Stephanie Meyer. NOTE: This disclaimer applies to the entire story so will not be written at the beginning of each chapter.

**IMPORTANT:** italics at the beginning of a section (marked by ~) are to let you know which character's POV the section is written from. For a few chapters it will either be Bella or Edward, then after that it'll continuously be Bella.

**A/N: **so I've had this idea brewing probably ever since I read the book, but at the time I was busy with other stories so this is the first chance I've had to actually write it. Be kind – it's my first Twilight fic and I'll try to do it justice, so constructive comments (ie: not flames) will be gratefully considered.

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_~Bella_

My eyes locked with Jake's like those of a startled deer. I couldn't do this, couldn't make this choice. But I couldn't turn away either. With burning hands tightly holding my face, I watched in undecided horror as his head tilted slowly towards mine.

Then the phone rang.

The shrill sound caught my attention and allowed me to break free of the spell that had kept me still. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, twisted free of Jake's hands and lifted the receiver to my ear, "Swan residence."

Nothing. I frowned: "Hello?"

As I was holding the phone to my ear, the slightest noise from the other end registered in my brain. When I had spoken, the person had taken a sharp breath but hadn't breathed since...an impossible idea bloomed and I tried to clamp it down before it had the chance to rip through my chest, but almost without my noticing a single word broke through my silence: "Edward?"

As soon as I said his name the phone was ripped from my hand. I turned in disbelief to face Jacob who had just slammed the receiver so hard into place that the plastic had cracked. His hand remained on it, his dark skin contrasting sharply with the light coloured casing. "What did you do?" I yelled.

"How can you want to talk to him after..." his sentence faltered as he struggled to control himself.

"That decision is entirely up to me Jacob Black! And I don't even know if it was him - they didn't say anything! And now I'll never know thanks to you!" My anger faded as quickly as it had flared and the faultline in my chest rippled as I realised, though I didn't know how, I had been so close to hearing him...that for some reason he had called - did he want to talk to me? Why?

"Bella? Bella! Listen to me!" Jake shook me, forcing me to focus on him. "Listen! _Don't_ distance yourself again - it wasn't him. It wasn't."

"How do you know?" I protested. "It's just as likely to be him than-"

"He left, Bells," he spoke softly but the words cut deep into me. I started to recoil but Jacob's hands kept me in place. "He left. Why would he call now? I know I don't know the bl-guy, but wouldn't he just show up at your door if he wanted to talk to you?" He paused to let that sink in, watching as despair started to cloud my face.

My mind was racing in circles, spiralling down into the abyss that I had fallen into before. I had many questions – too many to notice, too many to acknowledge their existence, too many to focus on anything else – all of which I didn't have an answer for and most of which started with _why? _I was so absorbed that I didn't notice Jake pull away and stare at me for a second with that sad, longing look that I loathed and for once completely missed, before he turned and headed to the door. It was his footsteps that caught my attention and I jerked back into the world with a questioning: "Jake?"

He paused but didn't look back. I thought I could see his hand trembling on the doorknob. "You're not coming to the funeral?"

I shook my head, "I-I can't. Alice is here. She-"

"I get it, Bells." He paused again and then turned slightly to look at me over his shoulder, face perfectly composed. "Bye, Bella."

He opened the door. As he walked out, I called after him with a sense of dread pooling in my stomach: "See you later, Jake?" I didn't mean it to sound like a question but it didn't matter. He didn't answer me.

As soon as the door clicked shut Alice was beside me, concern gracing her perfect features. I turned to her and the concern flickered into alarm at my glazed expression. I was desperately trying to hold back tears that I had no reason for as I answered her unspoken yet obvious question. "Edward called."

* * *

_~Edward_

I stared at the tiny phone in my hand, wondering how something so small could be such a will-destroying device. My mind was racing faster than I could run, going around in circles as I stood frozen in the shade of an inconsequential forest somewhere in Rio. My thoughts were chasing each other around the confines of my mind but they all related to one thing.

_Bella._

I needed her. I'd gone away when I'd thought it was best, left her alone so that I wouldn't put her in any more danger – which I knew I did, no matter what she said. It had only been a few months of separation but those few months had been pure torture. I had become unable to go a day without immersing myself in memories of her – an hour without imagining her voice – a minute without picturing her delicate features. Hearing her voice on the phone, proving that the information Rosalie had given me about her was false, it'd filled me with more emotion than I had felt since I'd left the small town of Forks. My chest no longer felt empty, _I _no longer felt empty. And it was all because of one very simple reason.

_I love her._

I've never tried to deny it. In the forest, before I had left...it pained me to remember it. But didn't I deserve that pain? I had hurt her, the emotion had been clear to see in her wide eyes. It had been the ultimate betrayal to my very being the second I told Bella I didn't love her – as if that could ever be possible! Yet she'd accepted it so readily, believed the lie so quickly...I was unable to hold back a flinch at the memory of her expression and this one movement propelled the rest of me into motion and I started to pace back and forth, back and forth in the shade of the trees.

_I can't go back._

Going back would put her in danger that I myself would be the cause of, or if not me specifically then my family or our connections. Going back would mean giving in – something that I didn't take lightly and an idea that in this case was ridiculously easy to entertain. Going back would mean getting to rid myself of these torturous feelings. It would mean I would be able to see my family again. I would see Bella.

_Bella._

I was already running by the time my mind had caught up with my actions. Though, if I was honest with myself, I had never had a real choice in the first place. I had already decided the moment I heard her voice over the phone, the moment her breath hitched and she had whispered my name, calling me back to her.

And so I went as fast as I could.

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Readers are needed. Reviewers are wanted.  
TBC


	2. One

_~Bella_

It had been a week since the phone call and it plagued my thoughts. Now my dreams had changed from the terrifying surroundings of the forest to a seemingly endless hall whose detail was unknown to me as all of my attention was focused on the ringing phone at the other end. I would run to reach it. I would run and run because I knew – just _knew _– that if I answered it I would get to hear him again...and then Jacob would step in front of me and block my way. No matter how hard I struggled I could never get past his strong, fiery grasp.

I usually woke up tangled in my duvet, chest heaving in desperate gasps and limbs shaking from the imaginary exertion of fighting a being so much stronger than myself. Although they were more numerous, I found these side effects more bearable than that of my previous recurring nightmare – unlike screaming, gasping and shaking were discrete and so Charlie didn't know about it. Every morning I would suffer and every morning I would go downstairs calm and normal.

It meant I didn't have to brace his questions, which was a welcome relief.

Alice was different. I knew she was watching me and I knew she disapproved of my reaction but I couldn't help it – I'd spent so long blocking him from my mind that saying his name brought forth everything I'd repressed. It was almost unbearable. Only Alice's presence kept me composed.

The weekend passed slowly. Charlie was out a lot so I didn't have to take care of him and I hadn't heard from Jake since the day he'd come over. I'd tried calling him a couple of times and the evasive answers Billy supplied me with reminded me of when Jake had been going through his transformation. I didn't like the situation any more the second time around and I had the awful feeling that something had changed this time too.

A glance out of the window Monday morning told me that Charlie had left early again and that the day had dawned cloudy and bleak. The weather was something that would have both amazed and depressed me back in Arizona, now it only served to make me repress the memory of a time when I rejoiced in clouds. I dressed methodically and went down the stairs, catching myself on the banister as I tripped on the last one, and headed into the kitchen.

"Alice?" I called, pouring myself some juice and frowning when she didn't appear in the quick way I had become used to. I sipped at my drink and walked carefully through to the living room, pausing when I saw Alice's things were gone and the bed sheets were neatly folded. I stumbled forward, dreading yet half expecting to find a note in her spiky writing and set my glass down without looking. It miraculously found a steady surface to sit on which was good because I was still staring blindly at the pile of crisp white sheets. My hand edged forward to touch them gently as my mind whirred with incoherent thoughts.

"Bella?" The unexpected sound of Alice's voice caused me to whirl wildly to face her. I unintentionally brought the sheet with me as it had caught on my fingers and as a result it was now wrapped around my hips in a snowy drape. She laughed lightly and was suddenly in front of me, unwinding the sheet and refolding it into a neat square before placing it back on the pile. It was the fact that she did this all at a normal human pace that caused me to feel uneasy.

"What's wrong, Alice?"

Her slim fingers were running smoothly over the sheets and she watched them with interest. It was the most human thing I'd seen her do: avoid a subject for as long as possible. "I have to tell you something," she said, her eyes flickering to look at me, "and I'm wondering how best to say it so you won't jump off another cliff."

I winced. It was obvious she wasn't going to let that go anytime soon.

Alice finally seemed to make her decision. "Come on," she ordered and twined her fingers through mine to pull me easily to the sofa, pushing my shoulders to make me sit when I hesitated. She sat beside me and held my hands, her gaze intent on mine so all I could see was topaz. Her actions had made me anxious and every muscle seemed to tighten in preparation for fight or flight – though in this case neither of those would probably work in my favour.

Her musical voice softly broke through my thoughts: "Bella, I'm leaving."

I had thought my muscles were as tense as they could go but I proved myself wrong. As soon as she said the words every fibre of my being tightened further causing me to shake under the strain of it all. However I wasn't as aware of the dull ache of my muscles as I should've been – I was too busy trying to wrap my mind around the unbearable circumstance that Alice's words meant. She was going to leave, taking with her all the connection I'd had with my surrogate family for so long. Only this time Jake wasn't going to be here to pick up my pieces. I'd rejected him one too many times, pushed him too far away for him to want to help. I would be alone.

The last thought caused the rip in my chest to burn and ache worse than ever before. Although not so bad as-

"Bella! Bella relax! I'm not finished – I'm leaving today, I have to, but I _will _be coming back."

The promise put a halt on my despair and I refocused on her now earnest topaz eyes. "When?" I mumbled questioningly, inwardly cringing at how desperate I sounded.

"Soon. I can't see exactly when but it will be soon, Bella, I promise." I nodded woodenly and her earnest gaze became concerned. "Will you unwind now? I don't want to have to explain to Charlie why you can't get up." I managed to do as she asked, calming my breathing and focusing on letting the tension seep away until I felt relatively normal. I flashed a weak smile at Alice and she returned it with a dazzling one of her own.

Not even ten minutes later, she was gone.

We'd not said much in that time, I think she waited that long just to make sure I kept breathing, but I'd made her promise to call when she knew she'd be coming back. It was only when she'd left that I realised she hadn't explained why she had to go or where she was going but it didn't matter, I thought I had a pretty good idea of who she was going to see. I appreciated the fact that she hadn't explained. At least this way I could pretend I was just being over-imaginative – if Alice had told me, had proved me right, I don't know how I would've dealt with the pain of knowing that he'd contacted her and not me.

* * *

_~Edward_

The instant I came into her vision Esme was hugging me, her long arms wrapped around my torso and her fingertips pressing almost painfully into my shoulders. I bowed my head to rest in the crook of her neck and smiled as her familiar thought pattern buzzed around my mind. "I missed you too."

When I pulled away it wasn't her golden eyes I was looking into, it was those of my surrogate father. Carlisle was smiling knowingly at me from behind Esme's shoulder: _Welcome back, son._

Esme was looking me over, checking for any signs of self-inflicted ill treatment. She paused when she studied my face, a small frown marring her features: "You've not been looking after yourself, Edward," she chided.

"How can you tell?"

She cupped my cheek gently. "Because you look tired and we all know how impossible that is." Carlisle approached us then and placed a hand on her back.

"Come, Esme, the boy's just home and you're already mothering him."

"Isn't that what mothers do?"

He smiled: "Yes, I suppose it is." The gently playful conversation between them only increased the feeling of happiness I'd felt since deciding to return. It eased the pain in my chest, something I was so grateful for that the smile that graced my features wasn't anywhere near worthy of conveying the emotion. I had to express it.

"Thank you." They both turned to me, their thoughts simultaneously asking: _For what?_

"For treating me like a prodigal son rather than the rash, stubborn coward that I am. For letting me return to you with no questions asked. For reminding me why I need to be around my family than keep my own company-" Esme's arms crushing around my torso cut off my speech but it seemed I'd said enough.

_You will always have a home to return to, Edward, _Carlisle's thought entered my mind. _We all make mistakes stemming from rash decisions. All you can do is learn from them. _I met his affectionate gaze with determination: "Don't worry, I've learned my lesson. Where are the others?"

_Rosalie and Emmett are on their way. Alice was going to meet with Jasper before joining us, _Carlisle replied.

I frowned: "Why was Jasper without Alice? Where did she go?" Surprisingly neither Carlisle's nor Esme's thoughts gave me the answer as they shared a glance. I knew, then, where my impulsive sister had gone even before Esme's gentle voice answered my question.

"She went to Forks, Edward, to see whether her vision had been...accurate. We were so glad to hear it wasn't. Rosalie should never have called you before Alice knew, it was wrong of her. She knows that now."

My jaw clenched as I recalled the awful moment Rosalie had spoken the dreadful words over the phone. The memory made my chest heavy again and that combined with Esme's hesitation made the light sensation fade until I once again felt almost hollow. The mention of Bella, though not even by name, made me remember that I'd done only half of what I'd set out to do since leaving Rio. It gave a bitter taste to the family reunion.

"She may as well have stayed," I replied lowly. "It meant I wouldn't be in our home alone when I go back."

There was a heavy pause, silent on the outside but inside both Esme's and Carlisle's thoughts were reverberating in my mind. I waited to see which they'd vocalise. "When did you want to leave?"

I met Carlisle's gaze: "As soon as possible."

"Well, let's hope Emmett and Rosalie return soon so they're prepared to accompany us." I frowned, not comprehending his words, and was about to respond when Esme's thought cut me off.

_You didn't really think we'd let you go alone, did you?  
_

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Readers are needed, reviewers are wanted.  
TBC


	3. Two

**A/N: **So in the timeline for _New Moon, _at this point Bella is on Spring Break. As I'm British and have no idea how long that lasts for I googled it and it's apparently a week _but _that doesn't fit in with my timeline so I'm using a little artistic licence and Bella's school decided to be extra nice to the kids and give them two weeks off. Apologies if this really irritates anyone.

If you didn't read that, basically my timeline's a bit off but hopefully you guys won't mind that much :)

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_~Bella_

My nightmares got worse after Alice left.

It reached a point where as soon as I lay down to sleep and closed my eyes the corridor was in front of me, the phone's endless ringing causing my head to throb. Another alteration was that Jacob was no longer present but instead it was merely _my _inability to move, _my _failing that prevented me from moving forward. This new version of my nightmare was affecting me more seriously than its predecessor: I was getting next to no sleep and fatigue was making me clumsier than ever.

The worst part of this was that Charlie began asking questions. It seemed today was going to turn out no different because as soon as I came downstairs he came to hover near me, watching me with worry etched into his features. "Are you alright Bella?" he asked as I walked through to the kitchen.

"Sure."

"It's just, well, since Alice left you've seemed...quieter. And you look tired. I looked in on you the other night and you were mumbling and turning a lot. You not sleeping well?"

It turned out that when Charlie was really anxious he lost his awkwardness over asking questions. "I'm doing fine, Dad."

"I was thinking maybe you should go out more. You haven't been down to La Push recently – why don't you and Jake make a date of it?"

I flinched at his use of the word 'date' in conjunction with Jake – I knew he didn't want to even speak to me right now, let alone anything else. "I haven't been down to La Push because it's been too cold," I lied, "and Jake's busy. He doesn't need me hanging around him all the time." I could see he didn't accept my reasoning and was about to question me further but the phone rang, effectively stopping his questions and causing me to jump slightly.

That was another thing – every time the phone rang, my heart jumped at the hope of it being Alice.

As Charlie was closer he got to it before I did and I held my breath and waited anxiously, eyes glued on the receiver held in his hand: "Hello?" Something they said caused him to frown and my heart jumped. "Yeah she's here, who's this?" Time seemed to slow and my chest tightened painfully as I became convinced, against my better judgement, that it was Alice and that she was coming back. But if it was Alice, Charlie would recognise her voice and hand the phone straight over so it couldn't be her. That meant...

My heart which had slowed almost to a stop now began beating hard against my ribs as my breathing started up again in harsh gasps. _What if it was him?_

"Oh Jessica! Sorry, I didn't recognise your voice- what's that? Yes she's here," he held the phone out to me with one hand. I took it woodenly, the lead weight settling in my chest causing me to force the movement as I struggled to overcome my distress. That was the problem with hoping: the disappointment at the end was never worth it. I berated myself for being so stupid.

I brought the phone to my ear and mumbled a greeting, wincing slightly as Jessica's voice flooded loudly through the earpiece. "Hey Bella! How's your spring break been?"

I frowned slightly at her bright attitude – the last time we'd spoken had left our friendship on rocky ground, or so I'd thought. "Um, yeah it's been okay."

"I can't believe it's almost over, these holidays always go so quickly," I glanced at the calendar to see that this was the Friday of the last week of spring break. I hadn't even realised. I tuned back into Jessica just in time to hear: "...about ignoring you, it's just you were so _distant _and I didn't really know what to say. In my defence you completely shut yourself off and you didn't even try to help yourself, but I've been talking with Angela and we think we could've tried harder. Anyway do you think...I mean, would it be okay to sort of start over?"

Her request surprised me. In all honesty I hadn't realised that I'd become a social outcast – I'd been concentrating so hard on not completely falling apart, on not completely losing myself, that keeping up friendships had fallen on the wayside. Thinking about it now I was amazed Jess was even offering considering how I had cut myself off and so I didn't hesitate to answer her in the positive. Besides it might do me some good to have some friends when back at the tiny high school, people to sit with at lunch, people to distract me from the emptiness of the table in the corner.

"Thanks, Bella," Jess' voice was warm when she replied, "that means a lot. You know me and some of the others are going to La Push tomorrow – I think Mike's gonna bring a portable barbeque and everyone else is bringing food or blankets or something – do you wanna come? I think Angela's coming, and obviously Mike, also Eric, maybe Lauren and Tyler and-"

"Jess, I'd love to come but..." I looked over to Charlie who was standing in the living room, obviously eavesdropping. It'd be a good way to get him off my back about going out and who knew – maybe being out the house and socialising would get my mind off _him._ "I, uh, I'll be there. What time?"

She relayed the details to me as she knew them, promising she'd call if anything changed, and we hung up some minutes later. I looked back to the living room but it seemed my social plans had pleased Charlie enough for him to leave without asking any more questions. I sighed with relief. Leaning my elbows on the counter I ran my fingers through my hair, wincing when they got caught in the strands and I frowned at my apparent inability to do anything with grace as I disentangled them.

I distracted myself from that train of thought by considering what to do with my day – I had math work to do, as well as an essay to write on Romeo and Juliet. It'd be good to get that all out of the way and I mulled the idea over reluctantly but then my stomach rumbled and I realised I'd forgotten something.

I toasted a couple bread slices then smothered them in some jam I'd found at the back of one of the cabinets before eating slowly, gazing blindly out the window as I thought on the events of tomorrow. As much as I'd been reluctant to agree to the makeshift picnic at La Push initially there was one positive to it that I hadn't immediately realised: Jake might be there, or if not him then others of the pack who I could get to take me to him, so maybe I'd be able to fix this new problem between us. I sighed – I hated how fragile our friendship had become. I missed those days spent in his garage as he worked on the Rabbit, or just days spent with him talking, laughing, _living. _He'd helped me after months of solitude and now I'd pushed him away. What kind of friend was I?

With a resigned sigh I washed and dried my used cutlery, putting them away before going upstairs to start my work. I was sure that if I could see him then I'd be able to try and mend our battered friendship...if there was one left to mend. I could only try and see.

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Sorry for the short chapter – life's hectic right now and I thought it was better than nothing  
Readers are needed. Reviewers are wanted more than ever :)  
TBC


	4. Three

_~Edward_

By the end of the week we were home.

I had no qualms in calling the beautiful glass-panelled house in Forks 'home' – compared to our other residences in Italy, Alaska and even the remote manor in Ireland this almost modest building was where I felt at ease, completely comfortable and more like myself than when I was anywhere else. We had come here once before, my family and I, briefly around forty years previously. At the time we were travelling but the climate had caught Carlisle's attention and that was how it'd come to serve as one of our 'habitats,' as Alice called them.

Standing in my room, looking out at the landscape beyond, I knew perfectly well the reason why this place felt so much like a home – it was the same reason that had called me back to the inconsequential town from my self-enforced isolation. As soon as we crossed the city limits I was drawn to her house. I almost went but when I turned in the direction I was bombarded with the image of her face when I'd left her in the forest broken and hurt and betrayed. That image had turned me away from her to retreat to the safety of my home and family.

It seemed my strength and courage had deserted me. I was in Forks and yet I couldn't bring myself to face her. "So close and yet so far," I murmured.

"What was that, big brother?" Alice's voice surprised me – I'd been so immersed in my own thoughts that hers hadn't registered.

"What are you doing up here Alice?"

"We're going to the wolves to announce our return, do you want to come?" My eyes narrowed at the mention of the pack, my thoughts inevitably turning to the dog Jacob and I shook my head in response. _Are you sure?_

"Yes. I'll see you all later," my tone was cold as I dismissed her. I wish I had better control over my emotions – you'd think decades would have given me that but seemingly not, or at least not when a certain despised individual was invading my thoughts. _Idiotic mongrel, _my lips curled slightly in anger as I thought of Jacob Black and his attempts to sabotage my relationship with Bella, to have her for himself. The idea of him succeeding was painful and, I liked to think, ridiculous – our relationship was too strong, had been so involved that...my thought stopped dead and I felt my eyes widen slightly as an unbearable idea bloomed.

_Was. Had been. _Past tense.

What if that mutt Jacob had taken advantage of my absence and he and Bella...I couldn't even finish the thought. The hollow ache which had dulled on arriving home throbbed to life once more at the idea that she could have moved on. I could understand it, had even desired it at one point, but now after I'd spent so much time longing for her the possibility felt like a shard of glass was expanding inside my chest. If she had it would be nothing less than I deserved – I had left, _willingly_ left, and as such could expect nothing from her.

It was selfish of me to expect her to be waiting for me, I knew that.

I didn't care.

Alice hadn't left yet; though I hadn't turned to look I could still hear her familiar thought pattern. She knew me well enough to tell I was preoccupied. Presently a more precise thought, directed at me, entered my mind: _tell me._

I was silent for a moment before replying, ordering my thoughts so that my speech wasn't a blur of emotion. My voice was only slightly strained when I replied: "I would appreciate it if you could ask Jacob Black if he's seen Bella." There was a pause as her thoughts whirred then I felt them click into place and I knew she understood my reasons. _Of course brother._

Less than a moment later I was alone. With a small sigh I leaned my head forward to rest it gently on the cool glass and closed my eyes with a small frown. The prospect of seeing Bella was overwhelming and terrifyingly wonderful in itself but I didn't know how to approach it – especially if Jacob was now a larger part of her life.

Seeing her again was what I wanted more than anything and that only made the situation harder. I needed time to consider my approach – to consider how I could force composure if Bella and the mongrel were...involved. I winced at the thought as the shard of glass in my chest twisted sharply.

I needed time to prepare, to plan, to resign myself to all possible undesirable outcomes. If Bella was no longer mine then there was nothing I could do, nothing I _would_ do – even if she was with him_, _as long as she was happy I could never intervene. But if she wasn't then I would fight with everything I had to convince her of what she'd so easily dismissed back in the forest.

Even if the worst came to the worst, at the very least Bella Swan would believe that I loved her.

* * *

_~Bella_

The next day arrived bright but cool in the small town of Forks so I dressed in a t-shirt and jeans before throwing my trusted lightweight rain jacket on - not to do so would be tempting fate. The sound of a car horn brought me to the window to see that Jess was outside waiting so I carefully went downstairs, picked up the bag I'd packed the night before and let myself out.

Jess waved at me and I smiled in reply as I opened the passenger door, shoved the bag in the backseat and got in. "Hey Bella! What did you bring?"

"Some blankets and a couple big bottles of water."

"That's good – don't think anyone else thought to bring them." I just smiled in reply. She chatted at me for the rest of the journey and I hummed and ooh-ed in the right places, though I didn't have to force being happy when she told me that she and Mike were "basically properly dating" now. It was good to know that Mike had finally taken Jess' hints and was taking her out – it was obviously making her happy and I made a mental note to talk to him about it later. It seemed that being social after isolating myself for so long was easier than I'd thought. In fact I was so busy keeping up a conversation that I lost track of time and suddenly we were in La Push.

It was brighter here than in Forks, especially by the beach where sunlight glinted off the waves causing me to squint as I looked out over them. The water was a mosaic of blues and whites, the surf a bubbly white foam that crawled slowly over the rocks after the wave that had left it behind. It was one of those rare picturesque days and I was glad I wasn't spending it stuck in the house alone – weather like this was meant for picnics. Just behind me Mike and Eric were working on getting the portable barbeque fired up whilst Tyler and a boy I didn't recognise were occupied in unpacking and sorting through what everyone had brought. It seemed we had enough food for a small army. Jess, Angela and Lauren were sitting off to one side on an overturned piece of driftwood and I moved to join them.

As I approached Lauren fixed me with a dirty glare then proceeded to monopolize Jess' attention by starting a conversation about her and Mike's relationship. Angela gave me a sheepish smile, apologetic on the blonde's behalf. "Hey Bella, I'm glad you came."

"Thanks, me too. How's your spring break been?"

"Really good – my cousin visited with her little boy and he's the cutest thing I've ever seen! He's just turned two so he's toddling around and I swear his giggle could break hearts."

"He sounds sweet."

"He is. How's yours been?"

Memories of Alice and the phone call flashed before me but I smiled through the ache that they caused: "Good but kinda quiet." It was after my pathetic attempt at a reply that the unknown boy caught my attention – he was laughing good-naturedly at Mike and Eric's failing attempts to light the barbeque and on invitation went over to give his assistance. "Angela who's that guy?"

He lit the fire on his first try and with a grin he patted a gobsmacked Mike on the back before heading back over to help Tyler finish sorting through everything. On his way back he caught me watching him and the grin softened to a smile. I turned my head away quickly only to see Angela holding back a smile of her own. "His name's Adam, he just moved here last week with his parents from New York."

"Why did they leave New York for here?" Forks was tiny, I couldn't understand it.

"His mom got offered principal of Forks Elementary and his dad's a writer so he can do that anywhere." I was surprised that Angela knew so much information about him and said so but she just laughed: "Bella this is Forks and he's new – I think only you didn't know he'd arrived."

That made sense. I'd been socially isolated until a few days earlier so it was no wonder I was ignorant about the new arrival. My gaze drifted to where he was sat with the guys, toying with a football that someone had thought to bring. He had short chocolate brown hair with a natural curl to it that he hadn't tried to tame and a few stray curls fell forward onto his forehead, softening his face. Suddenly something Tyler said made him laugh and the smile lit up his features.

I didn't realise I'd been staring until I heard Angela's soft laugh and her whisper: "See something you like, Bella?"

I blushed but before I could reply Mike shouted: "Alright everyone, burgers are go! They'll be ready in a minute so get a plate and a burger bun and get in line."

Still struggling for composure I waited behind on the little driftwood log as the others made their way to collect their lunch. When it felt like the blood had left my cheeks and I looked like my usual pale self I joined them, breathing in the faintly acrid smell of slightly burned meat. On reaching the front of the queue I returned Mike's smile and waited for my food.

"Um Bella – you need a plate."

"Oh right, sorry," I went to pick one up but the pack was empty. I held the empty plastic casing up for Mike to see and he frowned.

"Hey guys did anyone take two plates?" There was a general non-committal murmur of reply from the group and I began to fear having to eat the burger just using a napkin – I wasn't a graceful eater on the best of days but this would be ridiculous. Suddenly a saviour appeared in my vision and I looked over to see Adam holding a plate out to me with a glint in his eye.

"Sorry about that Bella – my bad," he looked at Mike and grinned slightly before sitting back down with the group. I watched him with a confused frown then turned back to the cook who was smirking.

"What was that about Mike? And how does he know my name?"

He shrugged: "He asked so I told him. Hold out your plate." I did as he asked and then wandered over to the group mechanically as I wondered why Adam would be asking questions about me. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen me before; after all I'd asked Angela the same about him so it was to be expected. It had to be that.

The thought of it being because of anything else made me almost uneasy.

I didn't realise Mike had sat down beside me until he offered me a bag of chips which I accepted with a small smile. Jess was sitting almost opposite us next to Lauren, giggling, and it was on seeing her that I remembered my earlier resolution of quizzing Mike about their relationship. Turning to him I asked in a slightly lowered tone: "So Jess tells me you two are going out now?"

A smile tugged at his lip. "Yeah we are," he suddenly fixed me with an intent look, "you don't mind, do you? I mean, it doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not! You two make a great couple," I ignored the slight look of disappointment that flashed across his features and took another bite of my burger. "Jess seems really happy."

He looked over at her talking animatedly with Lauren and a slow smile curved his lips: "Yeah, she is."

I smiled with him. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed talking to Mike and my mood was lifted by his apparent happiness with Jess. The sun was really shining on our little seaside picnic, I mused as I turned my attention out over the water again, it was the perfect day for it. The light was sparkling off the waves with a playful glitter and for the first time since Alice had left I felt content.

Thoughts of Alice brought on thoughts of why she had left, questions about why she hadn't called, wonderings about where she was now. Was she with...him?

I spiralled down this train of thought before even realising I had begun it and not a moment after I'd felt it my relaxed state was gone only to be replaced by a tense feeling of despair. I hated that I couldn't control my emotions, hated that I never had any peace from the turmoil of my mind but it was how it was. I was long used to it by now. The chatter of the group continued around me, Adam's laugh ringing out loudly more than once. I listened only with vague interest – my earlier resolution to be social was overridden by the sudden influx of questions in my mind. The conversation managed to pass without much input from me although Adam asked for my opinion a couple of times. I occupied myself by slowly eating my lunch even though my appetite had shrunk.

After a while I vaguely heard someone calling for a game of tag football and loud shouts of agreement. Someone called my name, asking my opinion but a spiteful voice answered for me: "Oh you don't want Bella to play – chances are she'd knock herself out somehow." I frowned at Lauren's insult but at the same time a flare of shame licked through me as I realised that she was probably right.

Mike jumped to my defence: "Hey she's not that bad okay? Bella, do you wanna play?"

I shook my head and gave a weak smile. "No it's fine. You guys play, I'll...stay and make sure the ants don't get the food." There were concerned questions aimed at me, mostly from Angela and Mike, but a few minutes later the group branched off to spread out along the beach. I watched as they split into two groups, feeling as if I was watching them through a fine glass window.

* * *

**A/N: **I _know _this is a weird place to end it, but seriously this chapter was getting too long and I don't have time to finish it right now - I have important exams in a couple weeks so I really need to focus (in case you can't tell, I'm freaking out about them a bit) and I thought this was better than nothing. I will be continuing but it'll be a couple weeks at least til the next update. Sorry guys, please be patient with me! Any reviews would really be appreciated and would lift my spirits muchly. Thanks :)

TBC


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